Unraveling Ione Skye’s Turbulent Relationship with Anthony Kiedis
At age 16, Ione Skye began dating Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis, who was 24 and fresh out of rehab.
Fire and Turmoil: A Young Love Fizzles
Their chemistry was immediate, as they were “instantly full-blown, instantly enmeshed.” Yet, the whirlwind romance soon turned toxic as Kiedis battled a relentless addiction to heroin. This tumultuous relationship coincided with Skye’s journey to stardom in the iconic Cameron Crowe film “Say Anything.”
Now at 54, Skye opens up about her extraordinary life in her memoir “Say Everything,” revealing insights into her intricate love life and her rise through Hollywood’s glittering yet often harsh landscape.
Skye attributes much of her personal growth to the influential 1989 cult classic, using it as a shield against the heartache and humiliation she faced during this dark period.
“It’s funny. You end up kind of hiding,” she reflects, recalling how she, as a teenager, unwittingly found herself caring for an adult in turmoil. “I felt embarrassed that I was in this situation. I felt this instinct to not let people know how bad it was. . . . I was just a wreck at the time. I was so scared.”
Reflecting on this tumultuous time, Skye admitted, “I think it rattled me for years.” Being with Kiedis meant numbing herself, while work brought moments of happiness, starkly contrasting her reality. “I think that’s how I coped with it,” she notes, realizing the importance of maintaining connections with friends who genuinely cared for her well-being.
Chasing Shadows: A Cycle of Love and Pain
In her memoir, Skye recounts a transformation in her feelings toward Kiedis; what began as a phase of infatuation morphed into a desperate need to “save” him. Late-night drives to his known spots, filled with anxiety, became a routine, as she searched for him in the dark corners of the night.
Haunts like the market where he bought supplies for his addiction haunted her thoughts, often triggering anxiety attacks when he returned home from tours. The emotional weight of hoping to save Kiedis became its own kind of addiction, one that nearly led her to rock bottom.
Eventually, a day came when Skye “snapped out of it.” While reflecting on that moment, she acknowledged the unhealthy coping mechanisms she had developed. She masked her struggles from others, which only deepened the sense of isolation and despair. “And then finally, I broke free,” she concluded, highlighting her journey towards self-discovery.
During this tumultuous relationship, Skye’s family, including her model mother Enid Karl and her brother, actor Donovan Leitch, remained concerned. Their disapproval created a palpable tension, one that Skye vividly describes as “thick and smoggy.”
“I think it rattled me for years. I . . . numbed out when I was with him. And when I was working, I would fall out and be happy again. I think that’s how I coped with it. I don’t know, I think I just knew enough to stay in contact with friends who really loved me.”
The Road to Healing: Growth Through Pain
Years later, reflecting on her past, Skye expressed sorrow over the distress she caused her mother. “There wasn’t much she [could’ve done] because I moved in with him,” she shared, acknowledging the complex emotions that accompany a teenager’s heart. “I apologized years later for worrying her so much,” she added, demonstrating insight into her earlier defiance.
Amidst resurfacing memories, a TikTok trend about their relationship propelled Skye to reassess her past. She felt protective of her mother as strangers questioned her choices, but ultimately, she recognized her autonomy during her formative years.
In her book, Skye confesses, “Kiedis wasn’t my great love.” Yet, she still held onto a belief that love could save him—a notion that proved untrue. It wasn’t until she was 18 that she met her “first great love,” Adam Horovitz of the Beastie Boys. Their marriage at 21 was a significant moment, but her path remained complicated.
Skye candidly labeled herself “a serial cheater,” details which one may find daunting. Their union ultimately ended in divorce in 1999, leaving Skye to grapple with feelings of remorse for any pain caused. Every decade, she slowly learned to mourn the loss of a deep connection that once resembled family.
“It’s sort of like a death,” she expressed, reminiscing about processes of healing that are often neither quick nor easy. “But every decade, I like to work on myself, and I like to process [it], try to get as healthy as I can mentally about things.”
As she grapples with the remnants of her past, writing has allowed Skye a chance to view her story from an outside perspective. “I forgive myself because I couldn’t stop myself at the time,” she reflects, demonstrating growth that comes only with time, experience, and introspection.
Finding New Love and Forgiveness
Now, as a mother of two, Skye has embraced a new chapter in life, marrying Australian rocker Ben Lee in 2008. They share a 15-year-old daughter, a symbol of the family she has worked diligently to create.
“I wanted someone I could trust,” she shared, emphasizing her evolution towards relationships grounded in security rather than chaos. “I was getting older. I was maturing. I was no longer pulled by all these desires the same way.”
Today, Skye hopes her narrative inspires others to embrace their imperfections. “Be less hard on yourself,” she advises. “I thought you have to know everything right away. That was a lesson I had to learn.” Her words serve as a gentle reminder that learning and growth often come in waves, teaching us patience along the way.
