In her article titled “How to Stay Friends With Your Ex,” author Lane Moore shares insightful tips on how to maintain a friendship with an ex-partner. Moore argues that while many believe it’s impossible to stay friends with an ex, it can actually be a healthy and rewarding experience if both parties are willing to put in the effort. Through personal experience and research, Moore offers practical advice on setting boundaries, focusing on mutual interests, and communicating effectively to maintain a positive relationship post-breakup.
Breaking up with someone can be a tough call as it means shifting from the couple phase to singlehood, but staying friends after the breakup can be even harder. Some people tend to part ways completely, while others try to stay friends, and if you are in the latter category, then you might want to read on.
Who is Lane Moore?
Lane Moore is an award-winning comedian, writer, musician, and author of the book How to Be Alone. In the book, she talks about the beauty of being alone and finding yourself. Lane also hosts a comedy show called Tinder Live in which she talks about her own experiences with the dating app Tinder.
Why Staying Friends with Your Ex is Possible
You might wonder why anyone would want to stay friends with their ex after a breakup, and you are not alone. However, Lane Moore believes staying friends with your ex is possible because the person you fell in love with is still there, even though the romantic aspect of the relationship is over. Additionally, staying friends with your ex provides an opportunity for personal growth, forgiveness, and maturity.
Steps to Stay Friends with Your Ex
If you have decided to stay friends with your ex, then here are some steps that Lane Moore recommends you take to make it work.
Step 1: Give Yourselves Time and Space
Breaking up is hard, and after the initial tears have dried, you need to give yourselves time and space to process your emotions. Time apart allows you to gain a new perspective and come back to the relationship as individuals rather than just a couple.
Step 2: Set Boundaries
Just because you are not a couple anymore doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set boundaries for your friendship. Define your new roles, and don’t give each other false hope of rekindling the romantic aspect of the relationship. Also, establish how much communication you want to have and what type of communication you are comfortable with, such as texting, phone calls, or social media.
Step 3: Focus on the Positive
Staying friends with your ex can have its pitfalls, including feeling jealous when they date someone new or revisiting painful emotional memories. Thus, it is essential to focus on the positive aspects of your friendship. Celebrate your milestones together, hang out and have fun, and enjoy each other’s company.
Step 4: Respect Each Other’s Lives
Respecting each other’s lives means understanding that you are no longer a couple and therefore have no right to dictate each other’s lives. You also need to respect each other’s new relationships, and that means taking a step back or keeping your distance if needed.
Step 5: Communicate Openly
Communication is key to any relationship, including a friendship with your ex. Being honest and straightforward about your feelings, intentions, and boundaries can go a long way in making the friendship work. Also, make sure you are willing to listen to what they have to say without being defensive or angry.
Staying friends with your ex can be tricky, but it is possible if you go about it the right way. According to Lane Moore, giving yourselves time and space, setting boundaries, focusing on the positive, respecting each other’s lives, and communicating openly are essential steps to take. Ultimately, the success of the friendship depends on both parties being willing to put in the effort, maturity, and forgiveness needed to make it work.