Don’t have time to watch all six Stars Wars movies before “The Force Awakens?” We’re here to help.
Here’s the entire Star Wars saga — including what we know about the new movie — in just 475 words.
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Taxes and blockades. Jedi master Qui-Gon and apprentice Obi-Wan escape a trap, meet R2-D2 and Queen Padmé. Jar Jar Binks annoys. Slave boy Anakin Skywalker wins pod race. Battles with droids and Darth Maul. Cool double-bladed lightsaber. Goodbye, Qui-Gon. Goodbye, Darth Maul. Obi-Wan can now train Anakin in The Force.
Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Assassination attempts. Anakin’s mom gets tortured, dies. Obi-Wan discovers a secret army of clones, gets captured. Anakin and Padme fall in love, try to rescue Obi-Wan, also get captured. Gladiator battle with giant monsters. Count Dooku leads revolt against Republic. Clones and droids fight. Awesome lightsaber duel between Dooku and Yoda. Anakin’s right arm gets sliced.
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Anakin kills Dooku and has vision of Padmé dying in childbirth. No Jedi promotion for Anakin. Politician Palpatine — secretly a Sith Lord, later known as Darth Sidious or just The Emperor — kills Mace Windu with Anakin’s help. Anakin turns to the Dark Side, kills lot of kids. A Jedi massacre. Anakin fights Obi-Wan and burns in lava, gets nifty black Darth Vader suit. Padmé gives birth to Luke and Leia, then dies. “Noooooo!” says Vader.
Episode IV: A New Hope
Farm boy Luke Skywalker meets R2-D2, C-3PO and Obi-Wan, gets caught up in rebellion. Luke’s aunt and uncle are toast. Everybody meets Han Solo and Chewbacca. The Death Star destroys the planet Alderaan. The gang rescues Princess Leia. Vader kills Obi-Wan. Luke fires torpedoes, The Death Star goes boom.
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
The Empire attacks the Rebels on the ice planet Hoth. Yoda teaches Luke the ways of the Force. The gang gets betrayed by Lando on Cloud City. Han gets frozen in carbonite. Luke battles Vader, learns that Vader’s his daddy. “Noooooo!” says Luke.
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Luke rescues the gang from slimy crime boss Jabba the Hutt. Boba Fett becomes Sarlacc food. Yoda dies. Luke learns he and Leia are brother and sister. Awkward. The gang meets some cannibal teddy bears, the Ewoks. The Rebels attack the new Death Star. Luke surrenders to Vader and Palpatine, but resists Vader’s attempt to sway him to the Dark Side. Vader tosses Palpatine down a shaft and dies, redeemed. The Death Star goes boom — again. Happy ending.
Episode VII: The Force Awakens
The new movie takes place 30 years after “Return of the Jedi.” Han, Leia and perhaps Luke are still alive. The evil Empire has been succeeded by The First Order, led by Supreme Leader Snoke.
Connect with this reporter: Charles Runnells (News-Press) (Facebook) or @charlesrunnells (Twitter)
